From a Real Wife to Real Husbands

By Lori Beard

I have debated and debated writing a blog about husbanding from a wife’s viewpoint but decided that it may be helpful to say some things that are general about so many marriages.  I read all these marriage blogs about marriage that make it sound so perfect, so divine.  While I am thankful for good Godly marriages that shine Jesus, I am also well aware that marriage is as much about heartache and hard work as it is love and fluffiness.
So, in thinking about my own marriage, here are some things I would say to husbands or husbands-to-be:
1. Women could care less about the toilet seat being up…WHEN you are leading them and loving them biblically.  Little gripes like that are the result of frustration.  So, lead your wife sacrificially and leave the lid up all you want.
2. Honey do lists are not necessary when you just decide to take a day a month and fix what’s broke.  Nagging wives do get sick of nagging about the same things, so help them – make the repairs without being asked.
3. We almost never have a headache, and we leave our babies in our rooms sometimes way longer than necessary to escape our sexual obligations.  Tell us to stop it … use 1 Cor. 7.
4. Women are relational.  They cannot hear, nod, fart and be okay with things.  Pray with them before hard conversations and then let them know you heard every word they said.  They will hear you better then when you speak.
5. Women need other women, whether they know it or not.  Love them enough to make sure they are in relationship with older and younger Christian women.  Titus 2.
6. Women love real repentance in their man.  We need to know that you know what is hurting us and that real change is coming.
7. Women use words to relate.  Many times they will repeat themselves to make sure they are heard and understood.  If that drives you crazy, then let them know you understood by repeating back their concern.
8. Don’t treat women as less than…God does not.  1 Peter 3:7
9. Women need to know what respect and honor for their husband looks like to you.  Tell them and save lots of heartache.
10. Women need men to be brave.  Hold them accountable with grace and truth.
Just a few ideas…not comprehensive…not the same for every husband and wife, but hopefully helpful.  Best piece of advice I have for husbands – pray, pray, pray – for you first then your wife.  Pray!  Pray!  Pray!
From a bumbling wife who loves her husband dearly…
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