“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper that corresponds to him’ “ (Gen 2:18).
The one and only thing said to be “not good” in the entire creation narrative of Genesis 1-2 is for Adam (man) to be without a helper (woman/wife). God made men to be in a marriage relationship. It’s central to the creation design.
To be sure, marriage is not the highest purpose of man. No, man (humanity) was created to walk with God in a life-giving relationship, and to enjoy the Lord’s person and presence forever (to steal some of Westminster’s phraseology). But the creation account makes it clear that the expectation, or the primary way man can glorify God and enjoy Him forever is by walking through life with a woman / wife. Marriage is God’s idea. It is glorious and when done with Christ at the center, brings the Lord the honor due Him as Creator and Redeemer.
This is not to say the gift of singleness is dead today (Matt 19:12; 1 Cor 7:32-33). But clearly, this is the biblical exception, not the rule. If singleness were the rule, Genesis 2:18 is senseless. God pronounced Adam’s lonliness “not good.” Adam needed Eve (not Steve, and not any of the animals which God had him name immediately after saying his unwed state was not good).
Young men, even those growing up in churches, simply do not believe God got it right in Genesis 2:18. Why do college guys hang out with other guys, eating pizzas and playing video games into the wee hours of the morning? Why do guys date girls forever, seemingly paralyzed to commit to a life of marriage and children and real responsibilities? Why do guys joke around that once a friend has gotten engaged his life is all but over? Poor, married wretch. He bit the bullet. Tied himself down. Chained himself to misery and a probable future divorce and nasty custody battle, followed by alimony / child support.
Young men of Christ, be very careful. Accusing God of being wrong is not something to be taken lightly. Dads, raise your sons to know better. Urge them to marry young and get down to the business of real world responsibility sooner rather than later. Have we so quickly forgotten that marriage is also God’s good provision to prevent unwed motherhood and/or pre-marital sex? Read 1 Cor 7:1-2. Take God at His word, young men and dads!
What is surprising is how young women are also now treating marriage as if it’s something to be put off as long as possible. I recently read an article on www.msn.com by Erin Meanley titled “36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down.” The title says it all, doesn’t it?
Allow me to share some of Ms. Meanley’s list:
- Live alone.
- Go to a movie alone.
- Fly to a foreign country by yourself.
- Get drunk during the day, just because you can..
- Do at least one Valentine’s Day alone.
- Attend a wedding alone.
- Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini.
- Finish all your schooling if you can.
She goes on to list three things to do to help yourself appreciate being single. They are: 1) Babysit someone’s baby for an hour. 2) Help a friend through her divorce. 3) Host a girls-only night. “I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other,” she quips.
Notice any trends? This is what feminism has led us to, folks. A total reversal and denial of God’s good creation called marriage, not to mention the gift of children. Adam and Eve were made for one another. Their life-long companionship would reflect God’s glory in ways that no other human relationships can. It’s OK for men to have friends who are men. Ditto for women. But when it comes to the foundation of human society, propagating the faith, and showing the love of Christ to the world, there is no substitute for marriage.
Call me old-fashioned, but scores of young women living alone has not and is not working well for our culture or churches. Raising girls to shun or deny their God-given need and desire for protection and provision which they are meant to find from their husbands has not and is not working well for our culture. Scores of men playing games with one another instead of finding their Eve and settling down with her to fulfill their high calling from God as husbands and dads – well, that’s not working so well, either, is it?
God help us stop calling His design “bad” or “something to be post-poned while you smother yourself in self-love.” Solomon said, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.”
I found my good thing 20 years ago. Short of my walk with Jesus Christ and his grace in my life, nothing else even comes close to the joy of sharing life with my “good thing.” I highly commend it to you, boys.
God got it right. He always does. “It is not good for man to be alone.”