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Having just completed the book Marriage Matters by Winston Smith, the married life has been on my mind lately.  As a pastor, one of the primary tasks God has given me is helping couples cultivate strong marriages.  I have found it to be rewarding, exhausting, and heart-breaking all at once.  For every victory in Christian marriages today, there seems to be a defeat, too.  Simply put, we do not seem to be taking back much ground from the enemy when it comes to marriage in the church today.

But why?  Though hundreds of books have been written attempting to answer this dilemma, I want to add my ten cents.  I do this not as an expert, but as a pastor who has seen enough marriage woes already to last me a lifetime.  I do not have vast experience in marriage counseling, but I have seen enough to make some critical observations.  And, I have spent countless hours searching and studying the Scriptures for marriage answers.  In the end, what is most needed in Christian marriages today is a deeper grasp of the gospel of grace, and a deeper enthrallment with the love of God in Christ. 

That said, in this ongoing series of posts, I want to tackle what I see as the big areas of concern for Christian marriage today.  These things are our arch nemeses, you might say, when it comes to doing marriage God's way for God's glory.  Here they are in the order in which I shall adress them:

1. The Matter of the Heart / The Doctrine of Sin.
2. Gospel Love v. All Other So-Called Christian Versions of Love.
3. Gospel Forgiveness.
4. Gender Roles & The Priority of Home.
5. Money / Working Arrangements.
6. Family History / Baggage.
7. The Grandiose Purpose of God for Marriage.

So, there they are - what I call "The Big Seven."  Every Christian marriage must deal with these things.  Every Christian couple must struggle in the Scriptures to understand and embrace God's design in these matters.  There is no escaping them, and I think we shall see that these seven issues form an interconnected web.  They all interface and inform and impact the other, for good or ill.

Paul wrote to the Church at Corinth with a heart that "we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs" (2 Cor 2:11).  These "Big Seven" are surely part of Satan's designs or schemes to shipwreck our marriages today.  Let's not be ignorant of them!

When marriages go south and begin to fail, one or more of these seven areas is out of whack, out of line with God's Word, out of tune with God's Spirit.  When one or more of these things jumps the track of Scripture in a couple's relationship, a "bad moon's on the rise."  It's getting out of sorts in one of these areas that puts a Christian couple in a vicious cycle of insanity that far too often leads to despair and the desire to just give up the fight.

I hope you will read each entry in this series and be given hope to keep up the fight for your marriages!  If you're in a marriage that's struggling, or in a marriage that's wonderful right now, I believe you will benefit and be challenged by each post in this series.  I am praying for God to use this simple preacher's words to do the deep heart-work that belongs solely to the realm of His Sovereign Spirit.

God rescue our marriages from the clutches of lies, in whatever form and from whatever sources they may come.  Please do it for the sake of Jesus and His witness to our children and our neighbors, who are desparately crying out to see a real-world model, example and vision of the very real power and grace of God in Christ.  Amen. 

I'll begin tomorrow with "The Matter of the Heart."  Hope you'll join me.

by Keith McWhorter