Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us (Heb 12:1).

One of my greatest excuses for not praying more for my husband, for my kids, my church, my pastor is time. I don't have the time. I am doing all I can in a day. I am covered up already. Really! Really? I challenge you to challenge that thinking. Keep a journal of a couple of different things for the next two weeks. Journal your Facebook time, phone time talking and texting, and TV time. It may shock you to realize how much time we waste in a day. Spend just one fourth of that time praying. Pray about the things you are facebooking and texting. Pray about the news you see on the TV. Pray and talk to God about your husband instead of that person on the other end of the phone. Pray pray pray...it is so life changing. How do I know?

I attended two funerals recently. Though the occasion was the same, what I heard at these two services was world's apart.

Yesterday at church ( I love my church), i found myself wishing to be anywhere but there. I felt like I needed to find a corner that was dark and get in until all those precious people who I love so much were gone. I have found myself feeling that way at home..at church..pretty much everywhere. I need to hide. So I asked myself yesterday..Lori what are you hiding from and the sad sickening answer was sin...my sin. I have felt such conviction in the last few weeks over several areas of my life and I have refused to bend my knee to Jesus and repent. His has caused me to need to be in quiet safe places that lack accountability...that is not my home or my church. Thank God he has hemmed me in on all sides and will not let me go. I am so grateful for his mad love for me and his refusal to let me stay in sin. But this does not keep me from being afraid of being found out or afraid of not being loved once people really know me. The weight of my sin is huge but the weight of fear of being revealed is just as huge. When my sin becomes heavier than my fear....I can either give in and give up or plead GOD forgive me. I am pleading forgiveness and freedom. I repent of manipulating truth so that Cliff would look guiltier than he is and of not responsibly spending our money. I repent of being short and angry with my family because things are not the way I want them. I am thankful for grace that has forgiven me and set me free. You may think less of me but my weight cannot be lifted by you so my only concern is my King who died for me. I pray that you find the same freedom to cry out to Jesus when everything in you wants to run and hide...wants you to go for cover...wants to drop out of sight until things settle down....praying you stay true to the Savior who has already set you free from the weight of your sin. I am thankful to him for his unconditional love...to my family for their grace with me and to me...and to my God family who I pray continues to love and pray for me. In Christ...your weightless sister

This week a couple of things have reminded me that waiting is truly against our sinful nature, but absolutely necessary in the big plan of salvation and sanctification. The Bible refers to waiting in several different places.

Buzz was a good cat, if there really is such a thing.

Our digitally over-stimulated society has led to many benefits, but also many curses. Among the curses, I believe, is the ability of nearly anyone and everyone to publicly "respond" to newsworthy (or not so newsworthy) matters. And apparently we all, myself included, simply cannot not respond. Bad English, but you get the point! We just cannot help ourselves. We feel compelled to make sure everyone knows how we feel or what we think when a deranged young adult guns down children, for example.

I have been thinking today about the same thing you all have..this tragedy in Connecticut. It is really an atrocity..a massacre...a crime beyond belief. No matter how you describe it, you will end up at the same emotional place...to horrified for words. I have been thinking about all the people involved in that arena today. The mommas and daddies...the brothers and sisters...the grandmas and grandpas...the teachers and staff left behind....the wives and husbands and children left behind; and the grief counselors attending there onsite. As I began to hear about these grief counselors I found myself thanking God that I don't live there and do not have to attend to those massive, open bleeding hearts. I tried to think of words that I could say that would comfort and speak truth and life into the dead, lifeless hole that so many of the hearts there have become. I could think of none. I certainly cannot say I understand; I feel your pain; I know what you feel like. I do not know any of those things and I pray I never understand that kind of pain. I certainly could not discourse on how tomorrow will be brighter and how time heals all wounds because for them tomorrow will not come for their precious loved ones and time has been stopped in one horrible moment. I could not offer wisdom because I have none to offer in this particular situation. What in the world could one say? What in the world could one even pray? I found my answer where I always find my answers..in my precious Bible. It is truly sufficient for every pain; it can answer every question; and it can fill every need. I am praying tonight the precious Word of God for Connecticut and its people and for our country in general.

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