The Makings of a Man

Most of the dating discussion thus far has focused on Daddy's and Daughters.  There is both a practical and theological reason for this emphasis.

Practically, I am the father of two gorgeous daughters.  No need to deny it, God has used my two girls to drive me into the Word to hear from Him on the matters of being a man, being a Dad, and raising daughters.  So, if my posts seem slanted towards Dad's critical duty to protect and defend their daughters, I make no apologies, and neither does the Bible!

Theologically, the reason is also pretty simple: If Dads protect daughters the way God has designed, most of the current "Christian dating woes" would disappear.  Young Christian men would quickly change their strategies in the face of an army of Dads linked arm-in-arm determined to honor God with the way they raise, protect and partner with their daughters in the courtship process. 

But of course, it is my sincere hope and prayer that many parents in the church of the living God would also begin to raise boys to be real men.  Our nation is awash in boys who look outwardly like grown men.  I have written on this pandemic of overgrown boys cleaverly disguished as bearded men in previous posts.  I invite you to read some of them or review them. 

Today, however, I want to end this series of posts on Dating by exhorting Dads, Moms, and young men to reclaim biblical manhood for the glory of our Savior and Lord, who was The Man of all Men.  Jesus is the perfect Man, the God-man, so if we Christians look anywhere other than to Him for our picture of manhood, shame on us.

And it really is a shame how Christians in our culture have all but lost any solid concept of genuine biblical manhood.  The femi-nazi's have beaten us down, sissified us, and left us with girlie men.  Broken homes, single-parenthood, and absentee fathers have further contributed to multiple generations of confused, neutered men.  Far too many generations of young boys have grown up in the church with little to no model of manhood, nor anyone who cared enough to disciple and mentor them into a Christ-like man.  This must change!

I thank God for men like Drs. R. Albert Mohler, Jr. and Voddie Baucham who write and speak so powerfully, so biblically, so passionately about true manhood.  May God increase their tribe.  More importantly, may God increase the tribe of Dads who are committed to raising young warriors for Christ

And what, pray tell would such a warrior look like?  Here's a short list:

  • A real man embraces his God-given role as a provider.  God made man and put him in a garden "to work and keep it."  God made men to cultivate, improve, and grow things in order to provide for his wife / children, as well as to reflect the image of God as our Ultimate Provider.
  • A real man exercises dominion over the creation.  God told man to "have dominion" over the fish and fowl, creatures great and small, as well as the land and plants around him.  Adam was the first vice-regent of God, if you will, created to reflect and extend God's dominion by using the creation in God-honoring ways, as well as beautifying the creation.  Real men do not go to PETA meetings, nor do they smooch with trees.  Nor do real men abuse the creation.  Rather, real men utilize the creation with gratitude to God for His provision, and work to beautify the creation to reflect God's creative beauty.
  • Real men embrace God's command to "be fruitful and multiply" and they embrace God's good design for this propogation (one man married to one woman).  The Bible does admit a few God-ordained exceptions (those given the gift of singleness), but they are the exception, not the rule.  The rule is a "one woman man" who desires and loves children!  (Mal 2:14-16). 
  • Real men are Christ-like leaders (Eph 5:22-24).  Jesus leads with uncompromising truth.  He stands between His people and the demonic wolves.  He leads with compassion, but firmness.  He leads by washing sinners' feet.  He leads by example.  He leads by mentoring.  He leads by teaching the Word.  He leads by preaching the Word. 
  • Real men love their wives like Christ (Eph 5:25-27).  Jesus willingly became accursed for His church, His bride.  Jesus was crushed in the stead of His bride.  Jesus defeated death and sin forever by rising again for His bride.  Jesus is a warrior who has never lost a battle for His bride!  Jesus always does only what honors God the Father, and what is best for His bride, the church.
  • Real men grasp and embrace the "one flesh union" of marriage (Eph 5:28-33).  Just as Christ is permanantly bonded to His beloved church, so a biblical man is glued to his wife for life.  A real man is determined by God's grace that nothing short of death shall pull him away from his bride (Rom 8:31-39). 
  • Real men are the pastor-theologians of their families.  While every man will not be called or expected to fill pulpits, every married man is expected to be the primary Bible teacher in his home (1 Cor 14:34-35; 1 Tim 2:11-15).  We have been raising generations of young men in the church who can barely put together a few intelligible sentences about the gospel, much less faihfully teach a passage of scripture to their wife and children.  This must cease!  And Dad you are just the man God has called to see to it that it does cease in your own home.

The biblical standard of manhood is high.  But, God does not ask our opinion when He commands and demands and manifests His design for holy manhood.  We dare not lower God's standard!  Rather, we look fully into the face of God in Christ to see our truest picture of what a man is.  All that Adam failed to be, Christ was and is forever.  All that we fail to be, Jesus is. 

We must pursue Jesus carried along by the Holy Spirit of grace.  We must raise sons to run hard after Christ on the track of God's sovereign mercy. 

God give us grace to look to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of faith.  God give us grace to raise sons who will reclaim and reflect the image of Christ as the leader of their homes, the lovers of their wives, and the shepherd of their children.  God help us raise up young men who would not dare dishonor a young woman's parents in the ways they relate to her. 

God give us real men, not for our sake, but for the sake of the Holy Savior, Jesus.  May our sons reflect His radiance, His dominion, His loveHis truth, and His holiness.  Remake our sons into the image of the Second Adam we pray.  Grant our daughters not perfect men, for Jesus alone is the Perfect Man.  But grant our daughters men of grace, who will raise our grandchildren to be children of the High King of Heaven, children of the Word, children of God's adoption in Christ.  Amen.

by Keith McWhorter