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Today's Christian parents and teens are totally bombarded with the "dating scene."  As a pastor, it is obvious to me that many parents are groping about wildly like a blind monkey in a room full of bananas trying to gain some measure of control over their teens' dating habits or views of dating.  Other Christian parents appear just to have thrown up their hands and taken the "Johnny is an adult now and has to learn to make it on his own and pay for his own decisions" approach.  Still others seem genuinely perplexed and confused on where to draw lines and how to find balance between loving protection and assisting teens in becoming responsible adults.

The issues surrounding "dating" or "seeing someone" as most Americans call it are myriad and complex.  These blog posts will be aimed at parents and teens, for both have to recover a much more biblical vision of this Medusa.  And a much more biblical vision does exist, my friends.

First, some confessions.  Most Christian parents do almost nothing differently than non-Christian parents when it comes to how they permit teens to relate to one another.  And, most Christian teens date or "see" others almost exactly like all their peers are doing.  The utter lack of distinction in our attitudes and actions when it comes to dating is obvious to the most casual observers.  Saddest of all, it does not seem to be bothering most Christian parents or teens at all.

Do we really want to keep taking the "it'll all come out in the wash" approach to something this critical?  We must be intentional.  We are called to be distinct, "cities on a hill" if you will (Matt 5:14).

As Christians, we must ask of every circumstance, every situation, every issue, "What has God said?"  This really is the key that we allowed the Dragon of American Culture to eat, swallow, and excrete into the ocean of moral complacency.  Far too many Christians today are not text-driven.  That is, they are biblically ignorant and often blissfully so.

But our Savior God is a God who has spoken!  He is the self-revealing God who delights in showing mercy to lowly sinners who would not otherwise have a clue as to who He is and how to be made right in His eyes and how to live in His good pleasure.  The miracle of Divine revelation is captured poignantly in Deuteronomy 4-5.  Go read it.

For our purposes here, I am going to assume you Christ-followers reading this really do care what God has said, about every matter, including dating.  So, let's begin a journey of seeking the heart and mind of God, as found only in the Bible, in the matter of dating.

Ready, set, go!  Oh, wait a minute, let me get my Strong's Exhaustive Concordance and find the key word "dating."  Hmmm.  This cannot be . . . Mr. Strong must have made a typo.  The word is not in the concordance.  Maybe if I look for "courting" or "courtship."  Nope.  How 'bout "romance."  Nix.  Wow - maybe this series of blog posts will be shorter than I thought.

Friends, this is where we must begin our journey - with an honest admission that one will look in vain for any direct guidance in Scripture on dating.  Let me qualify that assertion.  One will not find any recommendations or commands from God concerning how best to go about the process of "dating" as we have come to define it in America.

The Bible is all but silent on anything remotely resembling what we call dating in our culture.  Now I know some of you are thinking of the "unequally yoked" passage (it's 2 Cor 6:14, by the way), and we shall come to it in due time.  But go read it in context and you will easily see that Paul did not have American dating in mind when he wrote those God-breathed words to the Church at Corinth.

Here's where we must begin this journey - even the Bible's silence speaks, if we are willing to listen.  We American Christians are going to have to significantly alter our way of thinking about "dating" if we want to gain God's perspective.

Next post: Dating = Practicing for Divorce.

by Keith McWhorter