What Not to Say to Your Wife
With Mother's Day on the near horizon, ladies dear to me are on my mind. My wife is amazing. She is my favorite mom and woman in the whole world. I mean no offense at all to my own mother, whom I love and try to honor. She brought me into this world! But I also know that God says a man is to leave his father and mother and cling unto his wife (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:5). So, I don't think my own mother would even expect me to say anything other than, "My wife is the best woman I know!"
All this pondering of inner and outer beauty in my wife has led me recently to hone in on some phrases in my daily Bible readings. Coincidentally enough, my wife actually jokingly referred to one of these comments just this morning, as she had come across it in her daily readings, too.
These comments are what we might call, "Things not to say to your wife."
For my first example, I introduce you to one Elkanah. He is not as well known as his wife, Hannah. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying Elkanah was ungodly. He seems to be a god-fearing man. He, along with Hannah, agreed to give up their son, Samuel, to the Lord's service (1 Sam 1). So, he definitely got some things right, by God's grace.
But, he also got something very wrong. When Hannah was grieving deeply over her inability to have children, Elkanah quipped, "Hannah, why do you weep and why do you not eat and why is your heart sad? Am I not better to you than ten sons?"
Uh, well, no, Mr. Insensitive.
Men, do not say this, or anything like this, to your wives! When she is hurting or grieving, the best thing you can say is probably nothing at all. But O, how many times have I screwed this up myself?! I'm amazed that my wife is still loving me and living with me, given how many times I have traveled the path of Elkanah.
Men, seek God's sensitivity training. "A soft answer turns away wrath." Or, "weep with those who weep." How much better would Hannah have felt if Ogre Elkanah had simply wrapped his arms around her, cried with her, told her he was sorry, and offered to pray with her?
P.S. For a hilarious take on this theme, check out Tim Hawkins' song.
by Keith McWhorter